"A healthy 29-year-old medical resident awoke one Sunday morning with intense pain in the right shoulder. He did not recall any recent injuries or trauma and had not participated in any sports or physical exercise recently. He consulted a rheumatology colleague. The Patte's test was positive, consistent with acute tendonitis isolated to the right infraspinatus.
After further review of his activities during the previous 24 hours, the patient recalled that he had bought a new Nintendo Wii (pronounced 'wee') video-game system and had spent several hours playing the tennis video game. [...cut for a description of how you play the Wii...] The final diagnosis for the isolated right shoulder pain was Nintendinitis."
Because if a medical resident can't diagnose his own symptoms after playing a strenuous sports game, after playing it for several hours, you're seriously going to want him to look after your body, right?
It's becoming a struggle to find the right words when it comes to fiction. I'm going to have to start writing more or November is going to be a complete and utter fiasco of the kind not seen since my third NaNoWriMo.
Although having said that, rereading the drunken end of the 2005 'horror' has me laughing.
Sexy ferrets, eh? And those final paragraphs still make no sense.
"Forget this! This is my life! I have to go back to where my responsibilities lie! The words sounded unfamiliar in his head, as though another voice had spoken them - but they struck a chord with him nevertheless."
That would be the alcohol talking, Kaide. Don't worry about it.
"Kaide did his level best not to notice the lacy underwear this ferret happened to be sporting. As ferrets were not usually his style and he found them on the whole unattractive, he stood and bowed deeply to her. “My Lady Dileen,” forcing himself to kiss her tiny hand and doing his level best to have no vision of Dilan in his head, he took his leave of the beautiful and elegant young feminine ferret dressed in the thigh-split crimson cocktail dress. It was a shame he had realised it was Dilan. It rather took the edge off her flirtatious attitude."
...Something that clocks in at 50,243 words and has no discernable plot shouldn't make me laugh so, but this damn thing does. I wonder what I was thinking - if I was thinking at all - during the writing of this.
I forgot how I liked the characters.
On the whole, I think the entire thing could be summed up by this little note found on page 80:
[insert plot here]
EDIT: Oh dear, I'm so easily amused. I'm on page 13 - don't ask me what prompted me to start re-reading it, because I have no idea - and I'm smirking at the fact that Kaide is a particularly fun man when he's drunk. Beats Kier and his retreating to his bedroom with a bottle of whisky partway through ScriptFrenzy.
Although I don't know what it is lately with my characters and alcohol.
Still. I take comfort in the fact that Durandal didn't like the stuff. Even if he was a pain in the arse otherwise.
I finished "The Voyage of the Sable Keech" (by Neal Asher) today, and again I was disappointed to reach the end, just because I was having that much fun reading it. That's the problem with good books: there's a feeling of loss when you've completed it. A small part wants to go back and re-read it, just to experience it all again.
About a third of the way through, however, I was starting to feel a trifle paranoid about something to do with the kind of characters I like - but thankfully it wasn't just me being weird in the end. XD;
Well, except for the fact I became quite attached to a giant whelk. That was a little odd. But it was such a nifty character... And how many books can you say that about when it comes to enormous gastropods?
Now to settle down with the others...
Please take that as a "definite recommendation" by the way. Even if you don't necessarily like Sci Fi or find it far too "sci".
(And, draw? Why would I want to do that? I've got reading to do...)
I just modelled a wineglass and wine bottle in 3D! \o/ Well, it was more of a brandy glass, actually, and I can't get the bottle to accept the thickness command, meaning it's the flimsiest bottle you're ever likely to meet...
But nevertheless, I actually finally managed to make something in Hex2!
I just watched five episodes of Primeval back-to-back...
Aside from the brain-asplode-y-ness of the various plot and continuity errors, some of which were only visible on a second viewing - why did Claudia need a blood-pack when she only had mild concussion and hadn't lost any blood? - it's... kind of hilarious. And I'm still a big Stephen/Nick / Stephen/Connor fan, and maybe a little Helen/Claudia now too...
But I swear, Nick/Stephen is so canon. I wouldn't normally say it about a TV show, because, you know, real people are involved and it all gets a little creepy, but there are so many things... Like, on the first viewing, I thought Stephen was Nick's bodyguard for about three episodes, having missed the bit where he said 'Lab Assistant' - clearly a euphamism anyway.
Plus, Stephen always seems so interested in Connor, either rescuing or touching him... so many times!
But I feel sorry for Claudia, more now than before. Even if I do consistently laugh when she gets smacked around the head with a giant flying herbivore's beak...
...But I do have to admit, I'm looking forwards to a second series. Looking forwards less to the fact that there will be more characters when there was inadequate character development for the ones they had, but I'm hoping that the whole Actions -> Consequences thing will be a continuing theme, as it only really occurred through the last half of the series.
The sad thing is, I found out that episodes four and five, being the ones with the strongest continuity and scripting, were written by people other than the regular writers.
Usually, it's my mother who has problems - connecting at 33.6, for instance, on a frequent basis, and never being able to hold a connection - but now she's the one enjoying a steady connection whilst I'm the one flailing madly and swearing like a trooper as the connection cuts off for the fourth time in as many minutes.
I put it down to the fact that her PC is only connected briefly, whilst mine is supposed to be on 24-7, tying up the first phone line and preventing unwanted callers - it's an effective solution, you know. Despite being ex-directory, we used to get some pretty annoying ones.
It makes me wonder what we're paying - wait, there it goes again - for, and if this is some kind of grand ploy by NTL to force us to switch to broadband.
Sorry guys, but that isn't happening unless we can't sell the house by November. November? December is when the Home Information Pack comes into force for all properties, and we'll be damned if we're gonna pay all that money when there's only one article in it that's 'compulsory', and even that's pointless. You have to give one month's notice for the estate agents, so...
It's times like this you're thankful for unsecured wireless networks, even if they can, unsurprisingly, be intermittent at times.
These are something that cyclists complain voraciously about, or specifically, the lack thereof.
They complain in the small presses, in the national presses.
So when one is built for them, alongside a dangerous road that, whilst technically is a 30MPH zone, is one that people have done upwards of 60MPH on? A road with no pavements, simply nettle-infested grass verges and ditches?
Do they use it?
Hell as like.
I'm losing count of the amount of cyclists I've seen riding down this road - which, by the way, is only just wide enough for two cars to pass - when there is a SHINY. NEW. CYCLEPATH. It's signposted, even! My gods, is it signposted! You can't move for the amount of Pedestrian/Cyclist signs once you hit the roundabout!
It's a wide cyclepath, even! It's at least the width and a half of a normal English pavement, and it's wider than a lot of the pavements in this town.
And they complained so much about the lack of cycle routes in this town and the surrounding ones. They complained that the bridge built over the railway would be busy so no one could cycle on it. (HAH. We'll ignore the fact that the cycle route beside the narrow route was always designed to carry on over the bridge, it's one of the reasons the application to build was approved! And busy? Can't recall it ever being exactly backed up with traffic and HGVs... Of course, it's only been there for two years. Nooo time at all for one of the major routes out of town, of course.)
And now they have a nice long, wide cyclepath, do they use it?
Just because I'm kinda evil and all, I'm going to advertise a club I made on DA. >3 (My first one, because I'm still pissed off that DA were promising a proper club / group system for *years* and have *never* delivered on it - shouldn't surprise me really.)
Why is it I can write perfectly well inside my head, but the minute I open a text document - of any kind, I can't even fob myself off with Notepad these days - everything that was sitting merrily in my brain flees out the window?
As if it wasn't bad enough that one of my characters suddenly became very insistent today, but in a shy and quiet manner so I had to dig around to work out which one it was. ...Although I can't blame him, it has literally been years since I wrote anything about him.
I could go into a minor rant about the opinions of partitioning off sections of your mind and the opinions of certain psychologists, but I won't. I rant more than enough as it is. :)
But I'm still not happy.
*kicks the blank Works document*
(You can tell I'm frustrated. Three entries in a day.)