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My mother gets home from looking at bathrooms (oh joy) and the first thing out of her mouth is:

"We're back. Why haven't you hoovered up?"
"Because you didn't ask me to."
"I should have to ask you."

Now, forgive me but...

1) I am NOT A FUCKING MIND READER.
2) Didn't she notice that for the last four days I've been coughing until I've been nearly puking? I've been coughing so much that I have, in fact, lost my voice and it hurts to breathe.
3) My neck still hurts. Yes, I know I hurt it on Monday but I am not the quickest of healers and Jesus has not visited me recently. I can still barely turn my head.
4) I've pulled a muscle somewhere between my chest and my stomach from all the coughing. It hurts to move.
5) I've been sat playing my XBox 360 like you said I could. If any mention of hoovering had occurred, hoovering would have been done. It was not, so I played DoA4 instead.

Now. Am I supposed to be a mind reader? As if it's not bad enough that she keeps trying to guilt trip me about the fucking bathroom, "it's your bathroom." Yes, it might be the bathroom I use, but it is not, however, my bathroom, as my mother is fond of pointing out that it is, indeed, HER house. More to the point, the only reason the bathroom is being redecorated is so that she can sell the house. I don't really want to. She wants to.

So guilt tripping me about something I don't want or particularly care about doesn't really work, does it?

*croaks off all annoyed*